why I spent my night in the slammer

Why I spent my night in the slammer

by Sammy fucking steeltoes

so I'd just finished up a totally rad set at the knitting factory with my band better than better than ezra, and i was lighting up a parliament on some stoop with my boys when this fineass honey came up to me and she was all,

"can i interview you for my blog?"

she was looking pretty cute in her neon leather mumu, so i figure sure, i mean, i'm tripping on this designer drug (i think it was called "awesomeblossom") but i can hold my shit together, right? she got into all these stupid questions about my influences, i didn't know what to tell her, i mean, i don't really listen to anything except that william shatner album, and remixes thereof. then this skinhead comes up to her and he does,

"damn girl, you lookin ARYAN"

those awesomeblossoms had my pulse running all jacked up style so i dropkicked his ass. then his whole crew rolled up, but luckily better than better than ezra, they had the nunchuks and brass knuckles, and the blackjacks and shit. we fucked em up pretty dirty and by the time the cops showed up i was in like super-adrenaline gorilla mode, so yeah, maybe i put one of those blueboys in a headlock, it's all a little fuzzy now...